Showing posts with label Remembrance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Remembrance. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 10, 2023

RIP Dooce, queen of mommy bloggers

Dooce (aka Heather Hamilton), you helped show me that I could be honest in writing. You taught me another way to pronounce "crayon" as "crown". You showed me a pet dog could balance anything on its head. You showed the messiness of marriage and parenting. You showed how to make a business of words. You were the first mommy blogger I'd ever seen do this thing. I'm so sorry you were in that much pain. RIP.

 


 
 

 



Sunday, May 23, 2021

Remembering Ken 1968-2021

The world lost a beautiful, creative soul yesterday. Our lives will never be the same but they are infinitely better for having known and loved Ken. He fought brain cancer valiantly for 21 months and taught us to cherish the time we have together and to find joy in the moment. We will love you always and hold you forever in our hearts. ♥

Tribute to Ken

Thursday, May 02, 2019

Remembering Uncle Ernie

Sadly, another memorial post...

With a heavy heart, I am writing in remembrance of our dear Uncle Ernie Spadafore who left this realm yesterday, May 1st at the age of 92. 


Ernie & his late wife June
Uncle Ernie with my mom on her 3rd or 4th birthday

He was a great-granduncle to our kids and one of the namesakes for Calvin's middle name (the other being Ken's late father). Having no children or grandchildren of his own, we were tickled that we could honor him when we named our boy, Calvin Ernest. It meant a lot to me too that Cal has his own memories of one of the wonderful men he is (middle) named for.



Calvin's 1st Birthday, 2013
Photo by Grandma Cindy

Ernie was a younger brother of my Italian grandmother, Irene, and he was a dependable companion/caregiver to many people throughout his life, especially to his mother, Agnes; his wife, June (who suffered an
aneurysm and convalesced in a facility until her death decades later) and to other friends who needed help in their elder years.


Ernie with members of our family. Sitting next to his sister, my great aunt Rose.
Top row: my mom, and great aunts from the other side of the family, Bev & Mary. Date: Early 2000's


Celebrating his 89th birthday at Mom & Cindy's place with the Italian side of the family, 2016

He was a World War II veteran, decorated with the Purple Heart for injuries sustained during fighting at the Battle of the Bulge in Germany. He was an accountant by profession but loved to play poker & black jack down in Reno and Vegas--he also seemed to do well at it. 

In fact, he loved going to the casino so much, that less than a week ago, the hospice team made special arrangements to get him to the Ilani Casino in Ridgefield. They had to sort out oxygen tanks, drip morphine and transport him via Uber but he got to enjoy his favorite activity one last time. 

It was easy to see he adored the children and loved their energy because he lit up around them--you can see it in all the photos. 

Christmas Eve 2017

Elmer's Breakfast with Cousin Marge & Uncle Ernie,
November 2018

Sidney, Annabelle & Calvin with Uncle at Thanksgiving, 2018

The kids even got to see him recently a few weeks ago when they were staying down in Portland with my Mom & Cindy. I am so glad for that!

Last visit with Uncle, April 2019

We will miss him and his sweet smile. With a calm presence, he was a quiet, dependable fixture at family gatherings. I am grateful that he and Ken shared a connection too. I remember often finding the two of them huddled after holiday dinners, heads bent together, thoroughly engrossed in war stories or life adventures that we never even knew he'd had. May we all have so many stories to tell.
Our love is with you always. RIP. 

Friday, April 19, 2019

Remembering Mary

A week ago today, the world lost a very special lady: Ken's aunt, Mary Turner. She was 93 and a spark of inspiration and light.





All of our annual pilgrimages to the East Coast have routed through DC or Baltimore so that we'd be able to visit 'Aunt' Mary who lived in the SE sector of Washington DC near the RFK Stadium. She was an incredible woman who was born in the segregated South (Georgia) and whose bi-racial parentage didn't allow for her white father to live with her black mother and mixed race siblings. She moved to DC and worked in a supporting role in the government, raised a family of 5 children and lived in the same walkup on 14th Ave for decades. It wasn't until late last year that she was forced to sell her home due to ailing health and move into an assisted living facility.

Over the 15 years I've known her, I would speak frankly to her like how I would to one of my fellow mom friends. Despite our almost 50 year age difference, she loved talking about everything from the kids' milestones to world events. We exchanged similar opinions and thoughts on politics which, like me, she closely followed. But she loved MSNBC's Ari Melber, even saying to me once, "Did you see my boyfriend on TV last night?" in a slight Southern accent. It made me giggle and when I would offer up some other interesting tidbit of news, she'd say with a lilt in her voice, "For real?"











She loved Pacific Northwest Smoked Salmon so I would send her a box every few months. I also began to include Fran's Chocolates and photos of the children. She really loved seeing the kids and when Sidney was a baby she insisted on buying her an outfit for a wedding we'd be attending later in our visit down the Shore. She was always so generous and thoughtful, often baking her infamous and delicious pound cake for us to take.

In the last few years, her eyesight deteriorated to the point that her home was outfitted with supports for a person who is blind. At that point, I would try to find things to send that would delight her other senses: lavender hand lotion, a fuzzy lap blanket, spiced tea. But she would also request the Italian Pizzelle cookies that we make around Christmastime. She told me how she'd put the tin away when there were guests, as to savor them because they were her favorite.





Our last visit with her was in June of 2018 where we walked slowly down to the park to watch the children play and burn off some energy before we made the usual three hour drive down the Eastern Shore to Ken's folks' house. Her steps were slower and she used a walker but she was still out there with us and enjoying the city that she spent so much of her life in.



The last time I spoke to her this past March as she was settling into another assisted care facility and we spoke of an upcoming visit in July that we planned to make to the East Coast that would naturally include visiting with her too. She was excited to see us again. But after a serious fall later in the month, she just couldn't recover. Her daughters have been kind enough to keep us informed and updated on her situation and status.

She was very dear to us and a unique, loving soul in the world that we are ever so grateful to have known. RIP Mary.

Tuesday, July 04, 2017

America's Birthday & the Bainbridge Island Japanese American Memorial

On America's birthday, I find myself thinking about what it is to be American. I think particularly about how the last nine months have brought my uneasy feelings into focus about divides in our country: racial, economic, religious and gender, for starters.  But these past months have also lit a fire of purpose in my life--to not just have functioning knowledge of civics & government--but to also purposefully advocate for the things I care about.  Supporting public schools, maintaining ethics in media and combating racial injustice top my list. 

But it all seems very dysfunctional and frustrating right now. So on this day, I am harkened back to a particular moment in American history where confidence in our country teetered and a people of color felt like strangers in a strange land. I am steadied and inspired by the confidence in this country that kept the Japanese-Americans from giving up on this great democratic experiment even in times when disillusionment seemed to overtake the dream. My own family's experience with the Internment camps best reflects this...


During World War II after the bombing of Pearl Harbor in 1941, many of my Japanese relatives were forced to go into Internment Camps (prisons). My American-born grandfather, his parents and siblings who grew up in the Yakima Valley were moved eastward to camps in Idaho and Wyoming. 

My dad was actually born during the war but outside of an internment camp in 1944 because my grandfather and grandmother were chosen to work on farms near the camps that supplied the food for the people inside. Though on the 'outside' of the camp, they didn't have their basic freedoms to do as they pleased or go where they wished. 

My late aunt Shizuko "Suzie" Sakai who married my great-uncle Walter Sakai, recounts in a 12-part narrative HERE the oral history of her family's experience. It's impressive for the level of detail and it's the most complete account of someone in our family captured in media.

This chapter in history remains a black mark on the great 'American experiment' of democracy and it's guarantee of civil rights to its citizens. Unsurprisingly, this event in the West Coast Japanese-American experience ripples through what is passed on to subsequent generations. But not in the expected resentment and anger you'd expect. But in example after example of personal fortitude and clear loyalty to their home country of America.  

What I have learned and observed about this part of my Japanese heritage shaped who I am and in it the values and character of duty and perseverance. Some of my great-uncles served in regiments that fought in WWII in the European battles. They served and fought with distinction for their home country that simultaneously was detaining their family members  The resilience of my relatives after they were released and how they yet embraced America, their fickle birthplace, without question impresses me to this day. It is this that I think on in these dark days of our current situation. If the fabric of our country is unraveling or redefining itself and its place in the world. I think about my great grandfather coming to this country in search of opportunity and his faith that America held such promise. And I wonder what it took to leave all that he knew in search of better but I also think about that risk-taking spirit that carried him over the Pacific and to the Washington shores and into Indian lands, the only place where Japanese immigrants could actually buy land because the US government forbade the purchase of land by non-white immigrants.  

*****

Exactly a month ago we visited the Bainbridge Island Japanese American Memorial, a ferry ride away from Seattle. It was the very same day that UK Independent Party Leader and Pro-Brexiter Nigel Farage commented on Fox News in the wake of the terrible London attacks that something needed to be done to prevent future ones. He invoked the idea of internment camps for terror suspects which would effectively create Muslim Internment camps. Fox News quickly distanced themselves and opposed this opinion on-air. But the fact still remains that there are people who feel this is an effective strategy to deal with threats: to round up all members of an ethnic/racial group, strip them of their liberties and detain them. How does the world not learn its lessons?






Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Henry Shiro Sakai, 1926-2017


Last Wednesday April 12th while we were in Portland, my great-uncle Henry Shiro Sakai passed away. He was 91 and the youngest (and last) of my grandfather’s siblings. According to my Dad, he was an electrical engineer who worked in avionics for North American Aviation, which among other things had supplied modules for the space shuttle program. 
I had written to Uncle Hank this past February telling him of our plans to visit Portland during Spring Break and wanted to interview him. My thought was to get an account of our family’s experience in the World War II Japanese Internment Camps for posterity. He even made a joke in a subsequent voice mail that he hoped he’d still be around when we were scheduled to visit on Saturday April 15th. I had no idea that I should have taken his comment more seriously. I guess you can never know these things but I am heartbroken that I didn't take the initiative even 6 months sooner to talk to him about it. 

There isn’t going to be an official obituary or service—he and my aunt who survives him decided that wasn’t necessarybut I wanted to pay a humble homage to him anyway. RIP Uncle.


Photos by Cindy Hovind, 2013

Friday, May 20, 2016

Remembering Morley Safer

Photo by CBS/60 MINUTES
Hearing of Morley Safer's passing today, brought back a flood of memories from my time at 60 MINUTES. As an intern at CBS London/60 Minutes in late 1994, I was lucky enough to be assigned to the production team that worked with Morley Safer. I helped his editor and producer (Nick Harding & John Tiffin--both RIP) assemble an updated piece on Strabane Ireland, one of the most ravaged Irish towns during the Northern Ireland conflict between British loyalists (Protestants) and Irish Nationalists (Catholics). For me as a completely green and clueless broadcasting student, it was like just having learned to walk and then ambling onto an Olympic Track with world-class athletes--completely out of my league. But they kept me around anyway and for that I was and am truly grateful.

While I only met Morley Safer in person twice and fielded a few phone calls from him, I could tell from the story we were working on and its tone that he brought a humanity to his reporting and a quest to explain the unexplainable--in this case, the senseless violence and killing that went on in that tiny Irish town. Revisiting people he'd interviewed in 1974 also served to bring a form of closure to a horrible time in Strabane and to serve as a record for younger generations to understand the toll it took on the citizens there. I noticed this from his interviews that I catalogued word for word. He never stopped being curious and clearly loved what he did. 

Nick and I in the editing suite
The first time I met him we went to lunch with the core team who worked on his stories at the London Bureau. He was suffering from jet lag and I was suffering from shyness or lack of life experience (I was 20), but I couldn't muster many interesting questions. As a result, John Tiffin kept pouring wine into my glass to help me calm down but by the time we returned to the office, I was pretty tipsy and slurring my words. I'm sure I made a *great* impression. 

The second time I saw him was a much sadder occasion. He flew over to give the eulogy at the funeral for Nick, our editor. Nick had been living with cancer from before I'd come on the scene. Revisiting Strabane and taking on the new American intern were his last projects as it turned out. I recall Morley gave a very moving speech at the funeral and even did a short on-air tribute to Nick when the Strabane piece finally ran.

****** 

My understanding is that Morley's health was in decline and he had just announced his retirement a few days ago so CBS honored him with an hour long tribute, which he watched at his home. Morley embodied a work ethic, curiosity and approach that is seldom seen in this age of broadcast journalism. I am grateful to have briefly crossed paths with him and to have worked with his team who also embodied those traits. 60 MINUTES has certainly evolved and cycled in new faces and talent over the years but today it has lost one of it's defining pillars of influence. RIP Morley.

Friday, April 22, 2016

That one time I saw Prince

Escaping the 80's without having at least one memory aurally imprinted with a Prince song (or songs) seems nearly impossible. I remember when a babysitter was with us one evening and she had just bought the 1999 album. She hid the record sleeve with the lyrics because she said they were too racy. I snuck into the living room when she was making dinner and scanned it but didn't come up with much. I think I was 8 years old. A few years later, someone bought me Purple Rain and it became one of my favorite cassette tapes to listen to. I did wonder what Wendy and Lisa were doing in "Computer Blue" though. 


Wendy?

Yes Lisa
Is the water warm enough?
Yes Lisa
Shall we begin?
Yes Lisa


Seriously, what business does a 10-year-old have listening to that? Anyway...but the rest of the album was great. So flash forward to 1995 and as a 21-year-old away at college in London, I got to see his Royal Purpleness at Wembley and somehow managed to sit close to the stage.



Unfortunately this was during the "Slave period" where he'd write the word on his face because he didn't like the terms of his contract with Warner Bros. As a result, he was disinclined to play "hits" during concerts and while I enjoyed Prince music, I wasn't intimately familiar with the deep cuts. Thus, I wanted to hear at least some hits but the only songs I recognized that night were "Most Beautiful Girl in the World," "7," and "Pussy Control." Unfortunately, his musicianship (which I should have been paying more attention to) went mostly ignored. Ah, to be 21...

Looking at my journal from that time period, my review was pretty brutal:

"The show itself was second rate. Though we were only 11 rows from stage center, Prince failed to ignite the crowd. Probably this is due to all the new songs. But we all know how lame English crowds are." [Note: The steady reserve of concert-going Brits was not a mark of distinction in this case.]

I had even less nice things to say about the backup dancer who would later become his wife (for a few years at least).

"The almost naked wench on stage with him disgusted all of London when she whipped her ass cheeks all over the place. Yuk! She grew tiresome."



But it's still Motherf***ing Prince. And he is funky.
"I had a great time [though] getting into the fervor of it all. At the end, he showered us in gold confetti and that was beautiful."

Not every performance can be a winner and not every era in an entertainer/artist's long career will be inspiring but in the long view, Prince's contribution to the fabric of our culture and its musical development was epic. So I'll remember the awe and surprise of gold confetti raining down on us during the finale, a symbol of the ostentatiousness, surprise and boldness of our musical host.

He was so many things: talented, driven, gifted and luckily he shared it with the world. RIP to the prolifically funky virtuoso.

Thursday, April 30, 2015

Lee C. Leslie, a remembrance

This tragic event last week brought back these 20+ year-old memories of my friend, Lee Leslie. Despite not seeing him since 1991, I am incredibly sad to know he is no longer in this world and that his wife and 4 kids will have to go on without him. What remains for me are the memories of our unlikely friendship spanning 9 years and his antics that still make me smile.

Even as a 2nd grader, Lee stood out among the boys on the bus. He was a sort of a ringleader: charismatic, risk-taking and unpredictable. He’d be the one talking back to the bus driver and invariably the one being sent to the principal’s office.

I often overheard him and some of the boys who sat toward the back of the school bus talking about riding “cicles” (off-road motorcycles) during the weekend or admiring a neighbor’s “sweet” Camaro parked in a driveway as we passed by. The conversation shifted to the in’s and out’s of WWF professional wrestling and the merits of various “awesome” heavy metal rock bands. In no way did any of these topics interest me, but I listened anyway and one day on a ride home from school, something must have broken through so I laughed out loud and they noticed. Delighted to have an audience, they began to include me, trying to elicit laughs at their off-color jokes. Lee could also crack his knuckles so loud it was unreal. He and the boys on the bus loved nothing more than teaching me--an awkward, nerdy, naive girl--all the naughty words they’d heard from older siblings and metal albums. I came away from our bus conversations with a vastly expanded vocabulary and knowing more about professional wrestling than I’d ever care to admit.

We lived on the northern outskirts of Ridgefield Wash, once a sleepy, simple rural town that is now home to rolling estates. It was a place, when we moved there in 1982 and I started 2nd grade, where there weren’t many minorities in school except for a handful of Mexican laborers’ children and me. One day when I was in 3rd grade, Lee and his friends approached me on the playground and for no particular reason hailed me using the slur “Jap.” I had never been called that before (or since) but I knew it was fundamentally wrong. In retrospect, calling me that racial slur in the absence of malice or understanding of what they were doing felt more like the boys were ‘trying it out,’ rather than expressing a deep-seeded animosity for me or the Japanese race. Soon after this incident which included intervention by our teacher and a classroom presentation by my parents about Japanese culture, my talks with Lee on the bus resumed and we became even better friends. I know that’s weird to say but it never came up again.

I remember in 6th grade how Lee would rush to the swing set at recess and we’d all run over to watch him flip off the swings backwards or jump off with no hands. He performed the riskiest stunts and many of us were in awe of his fearlessness.

In 8th grade Social Studies class, we had a teacher known for saying such things as “You’re going to Hack City!” and “You want to play a game? I’ll play a game on your butt!” [That’s a direct quote by the way, etched in my memory forever.] Corporal punishment was in full effect and kids who got in-trouble actually got paddled (hard) in those days by teachers or the principal. But this ‘old school’ teacher, who was due to retire that year, was known for threatening (and carrying out) these ultimatums. I think it’s fair to say that everyone dreaded this class and because of that, defying him became a pastime for some of the more daring in our ranks. And that was where Lee came in.

In those days, the way the office and the rooms communicated was through a phone receiver/intercom. Because this teacher was hard of hearing and used hearing aids, there were times when he’d miss the quick BUZZ-BUZZ that indicated an incoming call. I was somehow appointed by this teacher to be the designated “phone answerer” during class. The problem with this was that the boys (i.e. Lee and the other guys) would yell “PHONE!” to disrupt the class even when the phone had not buzzed so then I would get chastised by our impatient teacher for not promptly jumping up to answer a phantom phone call. Another hearing aid ‘test’ would happen when the guys would start humming without looking like they were humming which prompted our teacher to adjust his hearing aid volume, sparking endless giggling and gloating at the achievement. It sure did make that otherwise boring class interesting. When not entertaining the masses, Lee was also voted the ‘Best Looking’ and ‘Best Dressed’ guy and landing in the top 3 for ‘Most Athletic’ and ‘Most Popular’ in our 8th grade yearbook. Impressive.

I searched in vain for the one photograph I knew I took of him in 1988 on “8th Grade Slave Day.” It’s where the girls ‘purchased’ the boys for a day and dressed them up in crazy outfits and made them do our bidding (within reason). I’m not sure who had ‘purchased’ Lee but he was dressed in a bikini and a grass hula skirt with a flower in his hair. He actually got off easy compared to the outfits some of the other guys had to wear.

When we crossed over into high school, Lee rode the bus less often, preferring to ride with people who had cars. I had less opportunities to talk to him and despite our small school, our social circles didn’t overlap much. By what would be our senior year, he had left Ridgefield HS and I didn’t know why or what he was doing. But I never forgot the roguish charm that won people over--that won me over--and all the crazy stunts, situations and conversations.

I looked through my old yearbooks last weekend, just--I don’t know, looking for something funny or optimistic. Instead I found something that I’d totally forgotten about in my 11th grade yearbook that he signed,

“I like you and consider you one of my best friends. I’m so glad that you are easy to get to laugh, it makes me feel good to make you laugh…”


"Your good friend, Love Lee”


From the boy I knew growing up, that was heart-breakingly high praise. Rest in peace, Lee.

(For anyone interested, there is a fund set up to help the family HERE.)

Monday, January 06, 2014

In Remembrance of Betty Faulkner

Today, our dear friend Betty Faulkner was laid to rest in Poole, a town in southwest England.  She was 88 and the wife of Ron, the kind-hearted, gourmet cook and jokester we lost in 2009.



She actually passed away on December 15, 2013 but it wasn't until today that they were able to do the service.

It was strange.  On Dec. 11th, I reached out to her in email, knowing that her gardener monitored the account.  Without getting too "woo-woo," I just had a feeling...an urgency to get in contact with her.  In weeks leading up to this moment, my thoughts had drifted to days spent in England back in the mid-90's.  How I had missed those adventures and the people I'd met during my time there--she being one of them. Though far removed from my current life, the memories and faces came back so strongly.  I hadn't heard from Betty since last Christmas when she had sent a one-line mass-email wishing everyone a Happy Christmas but I had hoped I'd hear something.

When Ron had died, I would send a card to Betty every few months or so with a note and some updated pictures of us & the children. In every letter, I would ask her if she watched and liked Downton Abbey (one of my favorite shows).  Because if nothing else, it was something that might bridge our far away lives and be something we might look forward to in the same timeframe.

But I never did find out if she liked Downton.  A few days after I wrote the email, an alarming response from her gardener said that she had fallen and things were not looking good.  And then two days later, a final email came confirming that Betty was gone.

It could not have been easy going on without Ron, Betty's constant companion for almost 62 years.  I remember when Ken and I visited them in 2004 enroute to Italy where we would become engaged (though I didn't know that at the time). They took us to a local Indian restaurant.  We simply sat as two couples, eating our dinner and talking.  It was in the way they spoke to us and to each other--if I closed my eyes--I would have sworn it was a much younger couple.  Something in the tenacity of their affection for one another and level of respect.  They might have been older but they hadn't given up or been defeated by the weight of the world.  (Mind you, they didn't have children either which while wonderful, definitely depletes some of your energy & life force.)  But it was significant to me as an example of what was possible and that surprises came in many forms, young and old.

Though I'm not religious, I would like to think that Ron and Betty are together again somewhere.  Their spirits so entwined are no longer separated by this plane of existence.  Betty, I shall miss having a world with you in it but I am thankful for the moments we did have together.

1994 While having tea at a hotel overlooking Poole Bay:
Kali: "Look at that gorgeous sunset..."
Betty: "Yes.  It's very big."

Wednesday, November 02, 2011

Remembering Auntie Rosie

Today, we lost a dear, lovely lady in our family.  My great-aunt Rose who was my grandmother's sister passed away this morning, surrounded by her children.

She was always very chipper, easy-going and optimistic.  One of my earliest memories of her is visiting her and Skipper, her dog.  He loved these little "hot dog-like biscuits" call Snausauges.  During one of our visits when I was 4 or 5, I was allowed to give him one.  I decided to sample one also and to my surprise IT TASTED AWESOME!  From then on, I equated going to Auntie Rosie's house with getting to eat, straight from the box, these amazing "crackers" that were really dog treats.  My mother and aunt just let me go to town on them like they were Nilla Wafers.  I don't begrudge it though--they were delicious.

All joking aside, it is truly a loss that I have not come to terms with yet.  Rose was the closest thing to a grandmother that we/I had left on this side of the family.  She was so excited about Sidney and always lit up when she saw her at family functions.  Auntie would always want to hold and play with Sidney and had such a caring way about her.  (You can just see it in the picture below.)  It made the absence of my own grandmother just a little easier, knowing that her younger sister Rose was doing an outstanding job filling in.  RIP Auntie.  We will miss you.

Christmas 2009

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Memories of Jack LaLanne

Yesterday, Jack LaLanne died at 96 years of age.  He was known as a fitness guru and someone who promoted fitness before it was fashionable to workout or be in shape or be conscious of one's health at all.  I had the honor of meeting and working with him briefly back in 1999.  During the Lottery's Lucky for Life TV ad shoot, I was the associate producer and got to spend a little time with Jack and his wonderful wife, Elaine. They were the sweetest couple ever and Jack had so much energy for a man of 85. The production team and the LaLannes all went out to Wild Ginger here in Seattle the night before the shoot.  During dinner he went around to all the tables, shaking hands with patrons and telling people to eat more fish. Jack made quite an impression and was a hoot.  He was a great sport during the shoot with all the wackiness and the grueling start-stop nature of the shoot.  He even caught a flying fish (which I wish I had a picture of).  Jack was such a vivacious and authentic person who wanted to see everyone be the best they could be.  I'm so grateful to have met him.





Also in the shoot was an yet unknown Joel McHale.  He was perfect as a smarmy game show host.