Gifts of uh...Love?

I just picked up Tina Fey's book Bossypants with the unsettling cover of her head Photoshopped on a large man's upper torso.  Once you get past that the contents are quite funny and heartwarming, as you would expect from her.  I'm really looking forward to her comments and observations about motherhood.  But I'm not that far in, maybe on the 3rd or 4th chapter.  At this point, she talks about her eleventh grade boyfriend who gave her a box of microwave popcorn and a used battery tester for her 17th birthday.  She added, "Like you give someone when you're in love."  It also sounded like he broke up with her soon after.

That story totally hearkened me back to my late 20's when I received a similarly vexing but ominous gift from a boyfriend.  To set the stage, Joe (not his real name) and I had just gone for a long weekend to Boston to visit his family after dating for a few months.  He sort of sprung the trip on me since a gloomy cloud of "this will likely not work out" settled over our relationship.  But I was encouraged by this gesture and found his initiative romantic so I set that feeling aside.  We traveled in early December and it was a nice trip so when we got back I bought him a number of Christmas gifts like a sweater and other cliche' relationship-y bobbles.  The week before Christmas he came over and I presented him with the wrapped and bowed boxes and he stared at them dumbly.

"I didn't get you anything," he said.
"Oh, that's okay," I said. "I know you're busy."

I was really confused because hadn't I just been visiting his parents and sister on the other side of the country two weeks ago?  (Oh and I had paid for my own plane ticket so that couldn't have been considered a gift.)  But I tried to shake it off and have fun that night anyway.  I left the next day to go down to Vancouver alone for an extended vacation with my family.

When I returned, there was a medium sized Amazon.com box waiting for me.  I tore it open with desperation and hope that it might be from him.  Maybe he needed some time or space to come around and get into the spirit of the holiday.  Not that I needed expensive or fancy stuff but some THING (a card even) to show he cared.  Inside, I found an invoice stating his address in the billing box (which was the only indication of where this had come from) and a fully stocked toolbox & socket set.  Wow, definitely practical.  Too bad I already had a fully stocked toolbox and he knew it too because he fixed the sink a few months ago.  The date of purchase was 12/26 and it had been one of these "gold box deals" that Amazon used to do where they'd deeply discount one item for a whole day.  I must say, he got it at a good deal on it--so kudos to him.

As I tried to feign some semblance of appreciation, my ridiculous female mind desperately clutched onto the quickly disappearing tendrils of hope that this relationship would last much longer.   What kind of a jackass gives you a toolbox for Christmas?  Especially one you don't need.

At least someone benefited from Joe's cringe-worthy attempt at lame reciprocation: for a New Years present I gave my brother a brand new toolbox and socket set.

Kisses!

After some sleuthing and re-watching of the 90's Grunge movie Singles,

I realized this:

Kiss on Manzanita Beach, 2008

reminded me of something I'd seen before...

Kiss by the Hotel de Ville, 1950 © Estate of Robert Doisneau

Highlights of the 1st Year of Evidently...

Creative Endeavors:
The Cat Trap 4/2007
Injure-wii Comic 6/2007
Frodo Look-alike 8/2007
Amy's In Amsterdam Song 9/2007

Writing & Observation:
Open Letter to Oliver the Cat 10/2006
Views on Religion 4/2007
Chicken is Back on the Menu 5/2007
Air Travel 6/2007

Married Life:
70's Music and it's (In)significance 12/2006
Technology & Modern Life 2/2007
Why Dating Sucked 2/2007
Naked 5K 7/2007
After Dinner Conversations 9/2007

The Arts:
Ballet Okay! 2/2007
Open Letter to Fremont Arts Council 6/2007
Seattle Symphony Sci-Fi 9/2007

WSU:
Cable 8 Turns 20 & Best Weekend Ever 10/2006
Apple Cup in Perspective 11/2006

Money:
Turning the Tables on Internet Scammers 6/2007
Lottery Dreams 8/2007

Flashback: Dating

Most every night before we fall asleep, Ken and I thank the universe for all the good things in our lives. Personally, I am so grateful for finding my husband who is a wonderful person, someone who gets me, someone who inspires me, etc. But this gratefulness also includes the relief of not having to participate in the sadistically insane pastime of "dating" any more.
Whilst going through some journals, I found a verbatim record of a phone conversation I had with an ex-boyfriend after newly breaking up with him. Rarely are such gems captured with this much accuracy. Read and enjoy.

Me: "[Name of Ex-B], I found your Jimmy Buffet CD in my Sade Love Deluxe Jewel Box. I remember telling you never to take CDs without asking."

Ex-B: "Mi casa es su casa."

Me: "So a key gave you the right to take anything you wanted?"

Ex-B: "You had the opportunity to take stuff."

Me: "Whatever."

Ex-B: "What will you give me if I find Sade?"

Me: "I'll give you your damn CD back."

Ex-B: "Oh."

Me: "I want you to look in your glove box, your CD car case, in your apartment and in your CD collection. I WANT MY CD BACK!"

Ex-B: "Well I want two years of my life back." -Click-

Flashback 2004: Italy

We liked holding up stuff up in Pisa & Burano.