Financial Literacy Month: All's Well That Ends Well? Nope.

A N O P E N   L E T T E R T O   P E O P L E   O R   

E N T I T I E S W H O   A R E   U N L I K E L Y 

T O   R E S P O N D.  (Inspired by McSweeneys)

Dear Bank of America Bill Payer Team and Chase Mortgage Team:

Your two institutions supposedly provide services such as safeguarding our money, making sure our bill payer transactions go through or making sure our mortgages are serviced.  But you fell down on those functions recently and no hollow-apologied form letter you can concoct will just make our doubts, annoyance and lack of faith go away.

This all started because the simplest, most straight-forward thing: a monthly recurring bill pay event for a mortgage payment that had processed correctly 4 times prior--for some reason--did not go as planned this past February.

On 2/17/11, I received an email notification from Chase Mortgage that our monthly payment for the mortgage was officially late (not received as of 2/15/11).  But upon checking with our bank who has all our money (Bank of America), I discovered that a recurring bill pay event had indeed posted 10 days earlier on 2/7/11.  

By 2/28/11, I had spoken to so many of your clowns and was a hair’s breadth away from losing my patience.  To add insult to injury, someone at Chase let me know the funds had still not been located in their system and they were going to report us at the end of the month to the credit bureaus for not paying our mortgage.  Talk about a hostage situation.  I had little choice but to pay our mortgage again in the month of February.  

Bank of America who holds our money also told us Chase refused to speak to them directly about this issue or any client accounts because Bank of America was a 3rd party.  To break the log jam and optimize my time chewing out both institutions simultaneously, I volunteered to do a conference call with Bank of America AND Chase.  

Here are other more infuriating things I learned on that call:

• Bank of America cuts physical checks to Chase (does not wire) and there are a limited (read: arbitrary) number of payments that can be sent to any particular Chase lock box destination (payment address on our mortgage statement) in any one day.  When they exceed that set number, Bank of America will send payments for Chase to another lockbox address that they know of.
• Bank of America on their own initiative changed the payment destination of our 2/7/11 recurring bill payer event from an Arizona address (indicated on the statement) to a Kentucky address--without so much as notifying us.
• The payment arrived to the Chase Kentucky lock box and our mortgage number was noted on the check.  Chase Mortgage cashed the check but did not credit our account--without so much as notifying us.  It was put into a holding account for some unknown reason.
• Because we initiated this payment within the grace period (on the 7th of each month) and not 5 days before the due date (on the 1st of each month), Bank of America was not going to take care of the late fee.  Luckily, Chase graciously reversed it themselves. 

The call in a nutshell: It started off that each bank insinuated the other messed up, next they each revealed some of the inner-workings of their respective banks, when it became obvious that they had both been inept and careless, the reps reverted back to their own douchey, condescending scripts and finally the blame came to rest on me for not initiating the payment 25 days prior to it’s due date. (25 days--that is absolutely ridiculous)

But miraculously the next day on 3/2/11, Chase found the  “lost” funds and posted it to our account.  Oh oops...

This little exercise in futility has earned both Bank of America and Chase to lose our trust and confidence.  If you cannot handle something simple like this, as routine as this, why would we ever place anything else important in your hands?  Yes, mistakes happen but you took up hours of my time to sort out and coordinate your own jacked up systems then pulled some b.s. technicality to try and blame me for it.    

I really wish I could choose who holds our mortgages because there would be a reckoning.  But I can decide who holds our funds and pays our bills.  Bank of America, consider yourself on notice.

A plague on both your houses,
Kali Sakai

Letter to Republican America

On Thursday I published a scathing rant in response to my growing frustration with this nation's politics, particularly those in the conservative Republican camp. It was promptly taken down after some heart-felt discussion about exactly what I was trying to accomplish and what unintended consequences could come from it. So let's try this another way...

Dear Republican America,
All this recent RNC hoopla with Sarah Palin and the realization that the Republican ticket is unabashedly buoying the ultra conservative right scares the crap out of me.

I realize the United States was initially settled by religious extremists (the Puritans) and that the founding fathers moved to create laws that protect religious worship. But I'm just amazed that in 2008, despite all we've been through, despite our stature in the world, by our actions and deeds and leadership we are regressing into conservative Christian territory. Us. America. Land of the Free. Sounds ridiculous doesn't it? We seem to be allowing our diverse, melting-pot-of-a-country to be steered into a less tolerant direction that plays on people's fears and distrust of others not like us.

What I learned about Republicanism in school does not necessarily match what it is today. As I recall, it was the party that supported less governmental interference, individual success, fiscal responsibility, state's rights and lower taxes. And yes, it leaned to conservative social values but I don't remember it being so fused with religious evangelicals.

The RNC galvanized behind Sarah Palin mostly because of her social conservatism, her Obama bashing skills and lesser qualifications (let's face it--she's pretty and younger). I know there are smart people in the Republican party and that just because you are a Republican doesn't mean you subscribe to all of what's said. But how can smart Republicans still be party to a group that is so obviously being commandeered by the conservative Christian movement? Weren't Republicans the ones who didn't want government so involved in your life?

We have an energy problem, foreign policy issues, massive debt, growing inequity of class/education/health care access. Now why wouldn't you want the smartest, most educated & eloquent person running this nation as opposed to the most dogmatic? I find it really confusing when instead of tackling the big problems, Republicans get really excited about making an amendment to ban gay marriage. Comparatively, that just seems like the least of this country's "problems".

But with the polls running Obama & McCain almost 50/50 now, I can only conclude that we are truly at a crossroads. And one more thing, with two or three Supreme Court justices due to retire in the next few years, this next President will set the tone for how law is interpreted for the next generation. With these being lifetime appointments, you really want a balance on the court and lest we forget, we just got two new conservative justices. A President is for 4 years but a Justice is for their lifetime. Keep that in mind as you vote this November too.

Sincerely,
Kali

Open Letter to the Seattle Symphony Musicians

Dear Seattle Symphony Musicians,

First I want you to know, I love you best.

Given a choice between the Opera, Ballet, Symphony or Sports Teams of this town, I'll always pick you. What you create and deliver night after night astounds and delights me like nothing else. As I look at each one of you, I see a lifetime of devotion to the art of music and the mastery of the instrument resting in your hands. It is my honor to hear you perform in such a hall, in such a city.

But imagine my dismay last Saturday when you all stood to take your bows and it looked like you were headed to a funeral after the show. Not a smile amongst you, just expressionless, dour faces as you clutched your instruments. Yo-Yo smiled and laughed and hugged. So did Schwarz. But you were not moved by the Bravos and ecstatic clapping. And it wasn't just at the end of one piece--it was all of them. Did you not like standing and taking bows? Did you not want our appreciation? It certainly seemed that way.

Not being a musician perhaps leaves me in the dark on some things you go through. When my husband practices a piece on the piano, he plays it again and again and again to the point where I have to go somewhere else. There must be an inherent solitude that one endures as a musician I'm sure. And so when you come together with 50+ other individuals of the same ilk--I can only imagine there is some friction.

I did some research on you to see if the answer was out there and found a local paper had fun with conspiratorial scraps of fact and gossip not too long ago. I couldn't help but feel sad. It sounds like some of you have a boss you don't like. I've certainly worked for bosses I didn't like. (Current one excluded for those of my co-workers reading this.) It's frustrating when you don't respect that person or find their decisions questionable.

But I thought (probably naively) that the arts would transcend human frailty--that the making of music especially, showcased the best of our creativity and possibility. This week kicks off the beginning of a new season and we will be seeing many of your performances. I just hope you find it in yourselves to remember that in the audience, there are those of us who marvel at you and wish you back every bit of joy you bring to our ears and hearts. Receive our gratitude with graciousness is all I ask.

Sincerely,
Kali

An Open Letter to the Fremont Arts Council regarding the 2007 Fremont Solstice Parade

Dear Fremont Arts Council, I usually regard your annual Solstice Parade as one of the most pure and enjoyable spectacles of Seattle. The feeling I have come away in the past is one of hope, joy and connectedness to my fellow Solstice-ites. And despite all the crazy stuff I've seen before, I have never once thought I would hesitate to bring a child to this parade--until now. So there we were on Saturday with Karen, Court and Little B in our lawn chairs eating bagels, sipping beverages and praising the perfect parade weather: not too hot, not too cold, slightly overcast with sun breaks. And let me tell you, there is nothing I look forward to more than some naked, painted bicyclists.... And it all started off splendidly with more naked, painted bicyclists then I have ever seen in my life. The police even left them alone as they patrolled the parade route. But Fremont Arts Council, you have rules: (1) No printed words or recognizable logos. (2) No live animals (except guide animals). (3) No motorized vehicles (except necessary wheelchairs). (4) No (real) weapons. And so do I. There is a line and it was crossed this weekend. Take a look at your audience lining the parade route. About half of them are children. Are you mindful of them? In the approved line up there were "Puff the Magic Dragon"--a group that encouraged the use of pot and "Your Friendly Neighborhood BBQ" featuring all participants dressed in Bondage S&M gear. What's up with that? What happened to the many samba and marching bands? What happened to the drill teams and dance groups? What happened to the giant puppets and stick walkers? What happened to that family friendly fare that inspires and delights? Instead we got a beat over the head with political statements and lifestyle choices. That's as offensive as printed words and recognizable logos--your rule number one. Mark my words, if there continues to be overt drug and sexual references, you'll lose a lot of spectators (even liberal-minded ones) who will put their children's best interest before a thinly-veiled romp of hedonism. There were some highlights of the parade: the Egyptian group- and the Ents-

But to be completely honest, the line-up was badly-spaced and underwhelming compared to year's passed. We contributed some money to next year's parade fund in hopes that this was just a off year. I really hope it was an anomaly. I really do. Sincerely, Kali

*****

Complete Photo Album Here:

Fremont Solstice Parade

Open letter to the Grey's Anatomy Writers

Dear Grey's Anatomy Writers:

Upon reading some of the comments on the Grey's Anatomy Writers Blog, you are starting to hear some overdue criticism from us loyal viewers. This formerly smart and interesting show has run amok due to sensationalism.

It *feels* like (creator) Shonda Rhimes is less involved now and the characters are gravitating away from 3D to 2D. Get back to the subtleties you were known for in Season 1 & 2--the touching stories, the medical/philosophical learnings--make us care about the characters again.
And by the way, you don't need a "Super Bowl episode" every week to sustain viewers. You just don't. The 3 episode "Ferry Crisis" could have been handled in 2 well-cut episodes. (Three eps was bloated and self-indulgent.)

Now, I know without the Meredith/Derek tension of Season 2, there's not that overriding anguish that makes drama so delicious but you don't have a comparable situation with the Izzie/Callie/George triangle. I think you need an intervention--get back to basics. Solicit ideas via a contest from the fans even, you might get some gems and give yourselves some perspective before you ruin my most favorite show on TV.

Love,
Kali

An Open Letter to our cat, Oliver

Dear Oliver, As you know, your father brought you into this family from a former relationship and over the past few years, I have come to love you as my own. So at this point, I feel there are some things we should discuss. Now, I understand that looking one's best is very important. Why else would you constantly groom yourself and rub up against every corner in the entire house? But when I try to pet you, why do you stay just out of reach or scamper out of the room? And god forbid I try to pick you up. You get all wiggly and impatient. Why can't you just let me love you? Sometimes you are extremely charming when you thread through my legs while I am making breakfast or playfully cute when you chase my pant cuffs. But mark my words cat, if you continue to cut in front of me when I'm coming down the stairs, I will kick you like a football. Why do you tempt fate like that? I tend to overlook your between-meal snacking because eating flies and spiders augments your protein intake. Besides it's the only contributory task you do around here and I don't want to take that away from you. But I do want you to know it's rude to stare at people. Especially when your dad and I are snuggling on the couch watching Grey's Anatomy or a Net Flix--I can see you across the room watching us. Lately, you've been acting really weird and will not be consoled. What's with the despondent meowing and mindless pacing? You can't possibly be hungry because you have an electronic feeder that provides you sustenance 4-times a day. You can't be thirsty because you have a high-tech water fountain delivering oxyginated water. You can't be bored because you have numerous toys and a cat door to the vast and interesting outside world. And you can't be lonely because you have all the neighborhood cats to play with, including your Tabby boyfriend, Hunter. (Not that there's anything wrong with it...) We assume this is why you hiss at all our female guests and take to male contractors so quickly. I only want you to be happy. But you have to make an effort too. Do you think you could just relax a little, watch where you're going and be nicer to the ladies? In return, you can continue your favorite pastime of licking the side of the dishwasher as much as you like. Love always, Your step-mama