On Writing

My New Year's Resolution this year was to read a book that had nothing to do with parenting. Just one was the goal. Mission accomplished and it only took 7 months!

I was once an avid reader, especially when I was in school--it also didn't hurt that I was an English minor with an emphasis in literary criticism. But since becoming a parent, I have found my time highly fractured and overcommitted.  The anguish of trying to read a novel or long-form story with that constant pressure, outweighed any perceived benefit. To fill the void, I consumed the snack food of the literary world: magazines, graphic novels, comics and fan fiction (some of the best-worst stuff ever written, btw). Of course, many of the moms I interact with participate in book clubs and I marvel at their ability to finish 'real' books. That should have been my first (and continuing) clue that I was making excuses. Also, I just need to step away from the Facebook, hours upon hours get sucked down that insatiable black hole.

Anyway, I set my expectations low on purpose because I didn't want to fail. But during our recent LA vacation, I read Stephen King's writing memoir On Writing. I discovered this book when I briefly considered signing up for an online class about writing adult fiction--a genre I have no experience writing. Well, that's not entirely true: there were earnest (though misguided) attempts in college where overwrought self-awareness and a profound lack imagination combined into a cringe-worthy mess. But while reading reviews about the online writing course offered by a prolific fiction writer (not Stephen King), many people instead praised King's memoir as being a superior, highly instructive awas a much cheaper alternative to the class.  By coincidence, my mom, who is writing children's fiction, credited the tools and advice in his book for helping her break though to a major revision and advancement of a story she's been working on for years. And after reading her energized and imaginative revision, I was all "I'll-have-what-she's-having." With enough mental reserves to appreciate King's solid advice, our kid-free, care-free LA trip proved to be a perfect time and place to read On Writing.

In high school, I devoured a sampling of King's work like It, Tommyknockers, Misery, The Dark Tower, The Stand and one of his short story collections. The accessibility of his writing was something I always admired even if the subject matter was unsettling. A few weeks ago when I was only half done with On Writing, we lunched in Santa Monica with a college friend who is a writer. I recommended this book to him in an "I've-discovered-something-new" way.  He assured me he'd read it 3 times since it came out 15 years ago. Oops, late to the party again. But the book still stands up, no question, which explains why I was #14 deep in Seattle Public Library's hold queue for it. 

One thing I always disliked about "writers" as opposed to actual writers, is that "writers" were people who debated, agonized and over-analyzed writing (I'm very aware that I'm toeing that line right now.) But the people who just sit down everyday and put in the time are the shit. Even if it's drivel. The output won't often be inspired and it's not guaranteed to be good but like anything else, you have to put in the time to practice. 

I think at this point, the audacity of writing a fiction novel is like deciding to run a marathon just because you bought new shoes. I haven't trained a lick but, by gawd, I have the shoes. Still there's something so plucky and fresh in that. Another thing King said, and I'm not spoiling anything here, is that a good writer reads. I think my English teacher in high school, Maggie Bates, mentioned that too. Seeing how others make ideas flow, develop characters and tell a story is the other half of "marathon" training. 

One main thing King emphatically championed was a writing space with a door to shut out the world. After a few years of envying everyone else's retreat space in this house, I finally commandeered part of our guest bedroom, which will continue to pull double duty but at least it's something. We'll see what comes of it. No excuses.

Review of Fangirl’s Guide to the Galaxy, a handbook for Girl Geeks

This is the book I didn’t know I needed. Thanks to Sam Maggs, an Associate Editor at the geek website The Mary Sue, there is now a comprehensive reference on being a fangirl. Behold, The Fangirl’s Guide to the Galaxy is a positive, encouraging and thorough guide on girl geekery.

For starters, in the helpful fangirl-speak glossary, you’ll find many terms you might have wondered about like “feels,” “shipping,” or “squee.” There’s social media tips and suggestions on when to use Twitter vs. Facebook vs. Tumblr vs. Pinterest to best convey or share something. There’s sage advice about “bumping” in a forum and being extra scrutinizing of the stuff you see on Reddit.  Maggs even warns about “egg people” on Twitter (love that term) and “trolls,” who are the scourge of the Internet. There’s also tips on writing fan fiction and mini-interviews with notable and famous ‘fangirls’ sprinkled between chapters.  But the centerpiece of this tome is a battle-tested, 40-page primer on attending conventions or “Cons” with insightful advice about cosplay. Having just attended my first Con in 2013, I envy today’s geeks who have ample access to them now, especially in my hometown of Seattle, like GeekGirlCon, PAX and Emerald City ComicCon.

Maggs earnestly maintains an almost unwavering camp counselor-ish tone and tempo in this guide. She deftly uses the geek-speak lingo used on fan webpages, forums, tweets and statuses. She’s also very encouraging to let your geek flag fly. It’s now much more culturally hip to be a geek than when I was growing up, but there are still subgroups of male geeks who want to undercut and delegitimize female geeks. That’s a shame because geekery, at it’s heart, celebrates everyone’s interests without judgement. But as this book shows, girl geeks/fangirls are a force to be reckoned with and will not be marginalized, derided, slandered or ignored. Here’s to hoping we can all live together in true peace--and not like the one between the humans and Cylons on New Caprica either.

All in all, Fangirl’s Guide to the Galaxy is a great addition to the geek collective and a wonderful primer for new (and not so new) fangirls everywhere. Thank you Sam!

This book releases in May 2015 from Quirk Books. Pre-order it from Barnes & Noble or Amazon.

Now for some “critical distance” aka constructive feedback: 

There are a few areas where I thought this book might improve in future versions:

• I found the section on trolling informative but I didn’t care for how it was organized. In the attempt to categorize the trolls, there are (seemingly) arbitrary names and it prevented me from really absorbing all of the information as I kept wondering what the significance of the names were.  
• The Con section is rock solid and really gives someone a very strong start for a successful event. One thing I might add, because I’m also a mom and it’s super topical right now, is how important health and hygiene is. There is a mention to carrying hand sanitizer, but with all of that humanity around you and the tendency for much of that humanity to be less [how do you say--clean?] really focus on hand washing/sanitizing, fist bumps instead of handshakes, being up-to-date on vaccinations (including your flu shot) before you go, and please don’t go if you’re sick. I know it SUCKS to think about bailing at the last minute due to an illness but think about how that could infect others. On a Nerdist podcast, Wil Wheaton mentioned how at one PAX, he and many attendees ended up getting horribly sick afterwards. Certainly this is the ‘exclusive souvenir’ you don’t want to bring home.
• I was quite surprised not to see mention of a certain Geek Girl who is taking daily mortar attacks from trolls while fighting the good fight. I speak of Feminist Frequency’s Anita Sarkeesian. I thought at least she might be mentioned in the YouTuber section since she has solid analysis and insight on gaming and the state of girl geekdom.

What I've been reading lately

As Ken astutely noted today, I have a curious habit called "snack food half-life" where I will eat up to half of any given volume of snack food and then paperclip it shut and forget about it. Weeks later, I'll come back to it but only eat half of the new amount. It results in me never finishing a given snack food and ending up with a square of chocolate, one tidbit of organic beef jerky, 3 sticks of sugarless green apple flavored gum, a bag of tortilla chip crumbs, 2 ginger snap cookies and an almost empty box of Junior mints-- all of these having entered our house during the third week of summer. You may not know this but I approach books in the same way, so instead of waiting years for me to finish them, I'll give you some mid-way reviews.

I have two books that I'm trying to get through at the moment and neither of them sustains me for longer than 20 minutes a sitting. The first one I've been reading as an earnest attempt to understand the complex societal pressures of motherhood in the book called "The Truth Behind the Mommy Wars." Now before you start get any ideas, understand that if anything were to "happen" I would tell you. So consider my reading of the book "research"--like one does before doing anything completely life-altering.

So this book (the first half anyway) discusses how American society really puts pressure on women and judges them on one particular issue: do you stay at home when you have kids or do you continue to work? The problem that I have with this book (thus far) is how the author spends too much time explaining the issue and by page 80 has yet to introduce some solutions or any sign that we are getting closer to a hook. Like I've said to my uncle Randy who puts way too much garlic in the Caesar salad, "Think of the amount of garlic you use, cut it in half, then cut it in half again." Ms. Miriam Peskowitz could have used this advice in the first part of her treatise.

Don't get me wrong, some people need all the details and several sets of data spelled out for them. In this case, I think most people can agree that with more women in the workforce, a more consumerism approach to happiness (i.e. need for more money), the reluctance of the American workplace to accommodate parents and the biological fact that women make the breast milk, we women will continue to face a tough choice. (I feel like I've just summed up what this book is about). Shall I bother to finish it? Hmm, yet another tough choice...

The second book I'm reading is a great sharing book with Ken. I like to read it to him right before we go to bed. I first heard about it on NPR and it's a doozy called "Dr. Tatiana's Sex Advice to All Creation." Now before you get all flustered, this is a scientifically researched book, cleverly written in the form of a sex advice column. Insects and animals "write in" to Dr. Tatiana who illuminates on relationships, courtship, sex, reproduction, parenthood and behavior commonplace in the animal kingdom. Insects by far have the most bizarre situations. The other day I read about the female praying mantis and the Australian redback spider who actually eat their mates after doing "the nasty" --in a way that really earns its name. It also talks about the fascinating way nature has equipped all beings, large and small, with advantages to propagate their species. It's a dense book, full of facts and humor. I definitely recommend.