Thursday, October 20, 2011

Letter to Sidney for her 2nd Birthday

I just received the 2010-2011 "baby book" that I make from Sidney's blog where I have the year's worth of entries and photos printed into a physical book so that we can thumb through and viscerally experience it in trying to be like other crafty, scrap-booking moms.  I have no gift for scrap-booking so this is as good as it gets.  But in looking through it, I reread this entry and wanted to share it on my own blog. Originally, I had posted this on 9/12/2011 a few days after Sidney's 2nd birthday.  This letter-form was inspired by and her monthly/yearly letters to her daughters which capture milestones, current events and thoughts in that particular time.


Dear Sidney,
You just turned 2 and none of us can believe it.  You are so much a little girl and so less a baby that I think we now believe all those sage parents who advised us to cherish every moment of your young life because it floats away.  But I'll be honest, I love this age on you.  Nothing gets by you and I'm sure you pick up a lot more of our adult conversations than you let on.  Your vocabulary and ability to mimic sounds has exploded.  I credit your father with his diligent (yet exhaustive) work with you on your annunciation.  I am prone to correct you but let things go by because I figure you'll get it eventually and for one aspect of your upbringing, I will not be the hard-ass. 

Ugh, there I go using adult language again.  Speaking of which, your father is bound to throw some at me when he hears about this: while he was on his run today, I was flipping through some online photos about the 10th Anniversary of the 9/11 attacks.  (That will be something we'll explain to you later.) You were completely engrossed in a puzzle or something which is why I thought I could get away with looking at them.  Suddenly I landed on a photo of a person falling from one of the towers.  I must have made a noise because you looked over and immediately said, "That man outside building."  Did I mention *nothing* gets by you?  Yes, I am a bad mommy for even having those pictures in your eye-line.  But I just said, "Yes and one day I'll tell you more about it."  You seemed unfazed and returned to your puzzle.  I realized right then that this parenting thing, as your cognition and understanding improves, is going to be such a balancing act.  Because for all the brutality and horror in the world there is also beauty and light and magic.  It's important to me that you gradually understand that all of it exists in the world. 

You yourself are such a source of pure joy and delight. I know that you are only 2 but I can sense that you are funny, fearless and empathetic.  I see how you have embraced going to family swim times with you Dad and by proxy overcome your fear of showering or being in a shower.  You give your PEPS friends hugs and ask about them when they are not around.  Your infatuation with orange cup, yellow marker, your plastic dinos, monkey man, Baby Paul, certain puzzle pieces and the story of Ping the Duck fascinates and frustrates us--especially when we can't find an item you NEED right that moment.  But mostly the fact you're forming attachments to things and people let's us peek at the buds of your personality.  The things we care about say a great deal about who we are. 

Your birthday party this past weekend was combined with our Summer BBQ event this year.  We tried to keep it on the smaller side because we did all the food this year, instead of a potluck.  It was still a good-sized crowd and I think 12-13 of your little friends (plus their parents) were here.  That's a lot of kids running around YOUR house, playing with YOUR toys and generally reeking havoc.   But you seemed to feed off the energy of all the people and enjoy being social.  Maybe you will grow up to love parties (uh-oh).  I'm really glad we got to celebrate up in Seattle this year with the friends you see the most as well as having your Portland-area grandparents on hand.  But mostly I'm glad your Daddy was here (and not hiking the Grand Canyon) to light your candle, play with you on the lawn and see how much fun you had as we celebrated you. 

I could go on and on but I have to get to bed.  Your Grandma Cindy took some amazing pictures of the day which I will post tomorrow and for that I am truly thankful for those memories.  Happy Birthday once again.  We love you and look forward to another year of wonderment with you.

Much love,

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