Intruder-us in the Uterus: 27 weeks

From the moment we explained that there is a baby in my belly, Sidney has sought to emulate it by putting her teddy under her shirt.  Then when little brother started to kick and could be felt by folks on the outside, Sidney would also have her baby kick by shifting it suddenly under her shirt.  Finally she announces that her baby will be born in "two minutes" and asks if my baby can be born just as swiftly.  It's a lot of fun to share this experience with her and see what she makes of it all.  

We have a book called It's Not the Stork which is a primer on how babies are made and all the fun topics that go along with that, appropriately addressed for her age group so she knows some stuff though not everything.  But the concept of how the baby gets out was still a little fuzzy.   The other day, she wanted to see babies being born so Ken rustled up some birth videos on YouTube and they watched it together.  I think at her age, I was also watching birth videos since my mom was a lamaze teacher and I loved it.  The footage left nothing to the imagination but it was as natural as anything else.  Ken said he even learned something because even during Sidney's birth he did not really get on the "business end" to take a close look.  Just a precaution, I forwarded him this link of what to do in case he had to deliver the baby.  Let's hope it never comes to that because that means I will not have any medication.  

Velociraptor Riding a Shark while holding Explosives & an Assault Rifle

I don't know who made this but it's undeniably awesome.

(Update: A friendly commenter named Tsad let me know the Velociraptor image can be found on his page.  See the comments on this post for the direct link.  Thanks!)

(I do know the shark part is from a photo taken by South Africa Great White Shark Expert Chris Fallows.  I ordered one of his posters several years ago and I hope to go on a Shark Watching Trip with him and his wife one day.)

Week in Rawk: Part 2

It's been 2 months since we had the Ballard Basement Band rocking out in Seattle and I'm finally getting around to posting the fruits of our labor.  It also appears that Mr. Ken is probably not going to mix down any more of the songs due to work, time constraints, travel and oh yes, the immanent arrival of our son.  But out of 15 songs attempted that week, 4 made it to YouTube including a revealing Outtake Reel.

I think the best song was our last one performed: Radiohead's "All I Need."

I'll be the first to admit the video from that week leaves much to be desired.  While it was important for documenting our time together, it was never a #1 priority which is why the shots are sort of boring and Dave is half out of frame.  Being the hack lead singer and the videographer while 4+ months pregnant and juggling normal household responsibilities never let me focus on any specific thing very well.  For all the musical gear that was procured for that one week, I said next time we need to put some resources toward some video equipment.  Even security cameras mounted in the corners that can shoot across for coverage.  Something. Anything.

While "All These Things That I've Done" was slated to be a sloppy run through and the guys did not spend nearly as much time learning it as the others, I felt it came out very true to the original.  This song by the Killers was one I worked with my vocal coach on years ago when Ken had bought me singing lessons.  It's a song I really like.

Ken actually mixed more than the 4 songs and did his best on our attempt at The Black Keys' "Too Afraid to Love You" which was the one song from our set that I wanted to nail more than anything.  But on the best take of the band, my vocals were uneven & tired and the video was chronically uninspired.  The same can be said for "Howling for You" also by the Black Keys.  So those videos were never put together.  While I did edit The Smiths' "Girlfriend in a Coma," the video does not really capture how fun it was in the room to do that song as a band.  It felt tight even though it was far from the musical taste of the guys.  The song was just one of my requests and I was grateful that they indulged.

The guys did perform several songs instrumentally by Rush, Radiohead & old Genesis and I was blown away by their rendition of "Planet Telex".  I had waived off learning the vocals for that song since it was not a Radiohead song that I was familiar with and I already had 7 songs to try and not suck at.  But after hearing what they did with it, I said I would learn the vocals so that next time we were together they could reprise it fully.

"Sinister Kid" by the Black Keys came through pretty much as I had hoped.  Charly really stepped up with the slide and the improv on guitar, though that is not his favorite thing to do I'm told.

It was a crazy, fun week preceded by many months of preparation and thought.  Ken compared it to ramping up for something very big and then when it was over he felt a little sad.  I totally know how he feels.  That is exactly how I felt after our wedding: so much planning, expectation, anxiety and vision then it passes.   While you don't have that event looming anymore, the excitement, anticipation and energy are gone too.

Speaking of planning, despite all best intentions, we did not anticipate everything...

• Ken and Dave made MANY trips to Radio Shack for cables and stuff.  On one such trip they were witness a comical and yet disturbing argument between two homeless people in the parking lot.  It was as if they were putting on a performance.  An imitation of this event is performed by Dave in the Outtakes Reel.
• There were multiple trips to Guitar Center for things, including getting the bass (borrowed from my cousin) repaired.  
• Ken & Dave went off to Everett half-cocked on a wild goose chase for a piece of much needed equipment (see next bullet).  Turned out to be the wrong thing.
• Ken scanned Craig's List for a "multiple USB stereo channel input/output box" and came across a guy who lives only 15 minutes from our house who would swap (as a loan) his unit for Ken's beloved high-end Theremin.  Our jaws all hit the floor and we struggled in disbelief to believe Ken agreed to this.  It all turned out fine but later in the mixing stage, Ken suspected something within the unit introduced pops and clicks into to the tracks.  Boo.
• Garage Band presented a steep learning curve to all involved.  
• One of the official institutions of the original band (Ken, Dave & Charly), a bag of Sun Chips, was purchased.  Music making could then proceed.
• At the beginning of the week, Ken and Dave nearly kill themselves trying to get our "drop-ship" delivered, king-sized mattress up the front stairs and into the house.  Dave suffers a strained neck/shoulder as a result.
• Mid-week, the Prius rear window gets stuck in the down position after a Radio Shack/Guitar Center run just in time for a torrential rain & hail storm.  Ken & Dave fashion a ghetto-fabulous cardboard cut out to get the car through the night.  A day in the shop and $600 later, the window was fixed.  
• Build it and they will come.  Banter and there will be Outtakes.  Behold:

Looking forward to our next jam session.  Though with a new baby, I am not sure how likely it will be by March 2013.  But I already have some songs I'd like to suggest.   I think I mostly look forward to when there is not a tiny human compressing my lungs and diaphragm so I can actually attempt to sing.   Next time too, Dave will get better video coverage and Charly will no doubt wow us with more POD Guitar Effects Processor magic.  It would also be great if Ken could show some of his Theremin skills in a song or two.  Here's hoping...until next time!

Everyday Should Be Mother's Day

All the retail stores and websites are gearing up for the most over-rated, under-delivered "holiday" known as Mother's Day.  The anticipation is sometimes met with a valiant attempt of appreciation but usually it just doesn't live up to the hype.  That's because nothing anyone can do in a single day can embody the sacrifices, logistical wherewithal and good times that moms bring to our lives year in and year out.  But I don't say this because I didn't get diamonds or a spa day last year, I say that because as cliche' as it sounds, doing something nice for your mom/a mom-like figure/the mom of your kids on just one day and then going back to the status quo the next is, well, lame.  It would be much better to spread out one's guilt appreciation during the year, especially at times when there is little to no pressure to do so.   That and you don't have ads encouraging you to buy your mom picnic pants, gold encrusted roses or a chinchilla apron.  True Story: One year my brother and I gave my mother a garden hoe and a set of measuring cups.  Practical but not very--how you say--"honorific."

After I was a teenager but before I was a mom, I objected to the retail compulsion of making this holiday a second Christmas.  I would then just get my mom a card (usually) and a giant helping of self-righteousness about retail manipulation.  Now that I am a mom, I can see how mothers might have high hopes to have a perfect day where they can relax, receive some pleasant surprises and feel honored.  But guess what, everyone else is trying to do the same thing too so not only does it feel unoriginal, it also feels that if your Mother's Day doesn't turn out awesome, your family didn't care enough to get their act together or in typical maternal guilt fashion, it must have been something you did to deserve a less than stellar Mother's Day.

So I say, let it be Mother's Day 24/7.  I know that sounds tiring to even attempt but let me explain.  I have a pair of UGG slippers I wear in the house.  They are definitely a luxury good and are more expensive than most of my other shoes but let me tell you, it's "Mother's Day" every day I wear them.  The same goes for my electric kettle that boils water in 90 seconds for my favorite tea, lavender chamomile.  It's "Mother's Day" every time I have a cup of tea. Or if things are not your bag, (pre-second pregnancy) I belonged to a Moms-only yoga class that met once a week in the evening.  Ken adjusted his schedule to fit this class and I got to do something just for me that also was good for my mind, body & spirit.  Similarly, when Ken is able to take Sidney for most of a weekend day, that is a little slice of heaven that I use to relax, get some tasks done or go out with a girlfriend.  That doesn't happen every weekend, especially recently, but it's definitely more often than one day a year.

But if we get right down to it, it's just noticing what moms do and letting them know you appreciate them for it.  For example, not long after we moved into our current house, Ken complimented me on the meticulous way I organized the giant bathroom cabinet of supplies and other necessities.  He said something about the way I did it made him realize how much I cared about our family.  Um, EXACTLY.   That is exactly right.  I was speechless.   This seemingly thankless effort that I put into making the household run a little more smoothly got noticed and I never thought it would.  The gals from Rants from Mommyland talk about this concept too and that it usually takes another mom to see it and appreciate the totality of it.  In this case, I was delighted that it was my husband who noticed.  It made my whole year.

Finding the little moments of appreciation is what most moms really want and reminders that their sacrifices do not go unnoticed or unvalued.  So by all means do something nice for your mom next Sunday but think beyond just the day and see how you might delight and honor her in small ways all year long.

Buh-Bye Birch

Dear "Half-dead, Aphid infested, Dropping Sh*t on the Car" Birch Tree,
Meet Mr. Chipper...

   

  

Pink Martini @ Benaroya Hall

I never really listened to Pink Martini's music but knew many folks who loved them.  I bought tickets for this show when they went on sale (like a year ago) and then last night Ken & I went.  The audience was a definite baby boomer crowd and the show was sold out.  The concert was great and in someways defies description because it was so diverse.  


But it came to me on the drive home that Stefon of Saturday Night Live would be able to boil it down.  I think he'd say something like this:


"Pink Martini has everything: Japanese guys singing in Spanish, a 94-year-old clarinetist, a Malaysian pop superstar, high school choir kids singing in African languages and doing a conga line, a trumpet player with grunge hair and a virtuoso piano player who looks like Elton John and Patton Oswalt had a baby."


That about sums it up.

Dear Intruder-us @ 24 weeks

Hey Intruder-us,

You are 24 weeks and there has been a lot going on.  Sorry it's taken so long to write to you.  As you will discover, the household you are coming into is a busy one.  I think you seem to get that since you have been active on all the sonograms and started kicking up a storm at all hours of the night.  I call it "uterus Zumba."

We're getting your room all ready since we've moved your sister into her Big Girl room next door.  Luckily your room already has a crib, rocking chair and changing table. It also came in blue so we don't even need to paint.  Your dad put in a Custom Closet System last week to optimize the storage situation and I've been sorting all the baby clothes & supplies that we had from your sister.  I am delighted to say that most of the stuff from the first 9 months is all gender neutral so you are set for clothes at least for that long--not that you're going to care about what you're wearing.

We also got you a brand new infant car seat, which your sister didn't even get (hand me down), bought a new car and even technically bought a new house in preparation for your arrival.  I guess I want you to know that because I feel a little guilty that your father and I have not focused on this pregnancy as much as the first.  We just don't play music or talk to the belly like we did before and I don't avidly read my pregnancy books nightly to find out what new development is occurring with you.  It's not that we don't care, because we do.  I eat organic food as much as possible, drink an unconscionable amount of milk for someone who is lactose intolerant and practice prenatal yoga.  But both Mommy and Daddy realize we have a lot to get done in the 16 remaining weeks.  And mostly, I find myself in a constant state of preparation with your sister.  Getting her ready for you.  Because you will be the biggest deal (good and bad) that has happened to her so far.  And I think household harmony is the best gift we could ever give to you, her and ourselves.

You see, as a big sister myself, I remember what a shock it was when they brought your Uncle Austin home from the hospital.  Just so you know, the eldest child goes from being the center of attention to having to yield to a demanding little being who sucks the life out of your parents, just as they start to fire on all cylinders again.  It makes the oldest a little mad because 'who asked for this interloper to come into the house anyway?'  So we're trying to head that off as much as we can.

Sometimes (actually all the time) I wonder what kind of boy you'll be.  I've met a few boys who are like Tasmanian Devils in a China Shop: very high energy, physical, loud and destructive.  And I'll be honest, that scares me a little bit.  Your sister has spoiled us.  I'll just say that because when I compare notes on some of her contemporaries, we've got no room to complain.  None.  And so that makes me realize, we are not that tested.  I believe we have only experienced the tip of the temperament iceberg.  If you turn out to be that kind of boy, I guess we'll fortify the glass curio cabinet and invest in some more padding for every other piece of furniture.  Perhaps we will also fortify our wine collection because we may need a good dose of that too.  But I've also met contemplative, timid and sensitive boys who get toys snatched away from them by clever Sidney.  If that's the kid of boy you turn out to be, we're going to need to work on you standing up for yourself because your sister is one self-assured gal and you will have a childhood of angst if you can't balance that out.  But I get ahead of myself.  Right now it's just you and me floating through life in symbiotic harmony.  One thing: can you please tell me why I have never been more thirsty in my whole life?  I don't remember feeling like this with your sister.  It floors me how much liquid I want to drink all the time.  And as a result of that, I need to go to the bathroom constantly.  It's crazy.

Everyone is excited to meet you and see what you are like.  But there is no need to rush like your sister did.  She surprised us 3 weeks early and had jaundice so that was not optimal.  But she was a very manageable 6 pounds 8 ounces for a vaginal delivery.  So I just want to put in a request that if you'd like to come out slightly ahead of schedule, that's cool as long as you can hold off until July 28 or so which is still 2 weeks early.  That way you let Momma go to her 20th High School reunion which is something I really want to attend.  (I know, you're like "what's a reunion?" and "what's high school?")   Also by skipping over July 26 & 27, you miss landing on the birthday trifecta of your father (26th), Nana (26th) and Ojisan (27th).  That would probably be my luck though: my husband, mother and son would all share the same birthday because the other 364 days just will not do.

But seriously, as long as you can hang out in there to term, we'll be happy whatever day it lands on.  I just had to put in my request though.  You don't get what you don't ask for.  Consider that my first piece of advice...of the millions to come.

Love,
Momma

Big Kid Transitions: Potty Training and Big Kid Bed -- Products That Might Help

As a parent, you aspire for these moments--when poop goes in the toilet (not on you or in a stinky diaper pail) and when your child can get themselves out of their bed and read books in their room for 15-30 minutes while you eek out a few more moments of morning sleep.  It's the "big kid" transitions that happens between 2-4 years.  Like many families, this transition becomes a bit more important when a younger sibling is on the way.  But like every transition your child makes, it is never up to you and your schedule.


Recommended Potty Training Products:
Here is a list of products that helped us with potty training.  We're still in the middle of it because Sidney is only 2 1/2 so things are still evolving but thus far it feels like we are on a positive trajectory.

     

• Books: One of the best things that happened to us was receiving "The Potty Book for Girls" by Alyssa Satin Capucilli.  There is also a Boys version too.  Reading this before potty training gave Sidney an idea of what potty training looked like and set expectations about how it progresses.  It even addresses what happens when you have a setback.  

Baby Bjorn Travel Seat

• Potties: The more the merrier, I guess.  We have 4: a permanent toilet seat for the big potty that has a smaller seat which nests into the larger seat, a Baby Bjorn chair potty that sits on the floor and a Baby Bjorn travel seat that snaps onto adult toilet seats.  We even have a stand-alone travel potty for road trips or where there were not adequate facilities.  Having options also allows for when Sidney also has friends over who are also potty training and we all have to go together.  This must be where girls going to the bathroom in groups starts.

  

• Underwear: The Gerber padded training pants for boys or girls gives you a little more leeway if you have an accident.  It doesn't contain the wetness like a diaper but it gives you a little more absorbency and a few seconds to get them to a bathroom.  I notice that Sidney also notices that disposable training pants (aka the "pull-up") feels different than underwear and will be less cognizant of taking a trip to the potty if she knows she's in a pull-up. 

• Disposable Training Pants or "Pull-ups": This has become my crutch because I don't want to deal with an accident while running errands.  If we leave the house, I usually put her in one of these unless we go to co-op where they have mini potties and such things.  I am also a mom who used disposable diapers so that is probably why I feel so attached to them.  I need to eventually break the habit but until then... We use the Seventh Generation brand though they are a little narrow in the butt so perhaps jump up a size bigger than you think you need.  We will also be using the Nature Babycare ones on a regular basis too.  We once had to resort to using conventional Pampers Pull Ups that had Disney Princesses all over them.  I just told Sidney they were a bunch a pretty ladies.  Dodging the princess bullet as long as possible.

 

• Wipes:  Did you know there are biodegradable, flushable wipes for potty training?  Why aren't all wipes made of this material, I ask?  For baby #2 you better believe we will be using these for him from the beginning.  Anyway, check out Pampers Kandoo Flushable wipes or Earth's Best Flushable Tot Wipes.  Why?  Because dry toilet paper on a wet toddler's butt always results in "hangers."  Every. Time.  Also, what's not to love about a cartoon lizard that can wipe his own behind?

• Mattress Pads/Flannel Pads: These are for the elite and brave among us.  The risk-takers.  I have accidentally put Sidney to nap in panties and so has Ken.  She is clearly not ready.  Always make sure the bed has a mattress pad.  And flannel pads (which never stop being relevant from birth) for airplane travel, car travel, bed at grandma's or your own lap.  

Recommended Big Kid Bed/Room Transition Products:

As for the big transition to the big kid bed and room, the new found freedom of a bed she can get in and out of is hard to resist. It has been a source of accomplishment and set backs.  For example, Friday we took a major step back during nap when I had to put Sidney in the crib just so she'd sleep but overnights are fine.  The most important thing is to make sure the room is a safe and inviting place but not too stimulating with toys and such.  Here are some other things that may help:

  

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• Bed Rail: Not even 2 hours after putting the bed in the room, Sidney managed to fall off of it and hit her mouth on the night table.  I think she might have been bouncing on the bed but never the less, it cemented my insistence that we have a bed rail.  This one can actually unlatch and slide under the mattress for easy sheet changing or when you just don't want the rail up.

   
• Blackout Shades Roller shades: From the beginning we have endeavored to make Sidney's sleeping quarters as dark as possible to promote good sleep. You can get roller shades anywhere but Home Depot can cut to your specifications and they are not that expensive. 

• Sleep/Nap Timer: This plush owl in pajamas, known to us as "Owly", helps kids know when it's time to get out of bed. There are many products on the market designed to do this but this one seems to be the simplest: his face turns green at the preset time that you specify and it can be used as a nap timer as well. He also plays music and can light up.

• Hampers: They're not just for dirty clothes any more.  Given Sidney's vast collection of stuffed animals and her desire to access them, pop-up hampers are a great way to keep them off the floor while allowing her access on her level.  Also great for storing dress-up clothes, blankets, pillows and other soft play items.

• Closet Organization: Storables has a well-designed, affordable modular custom closet system that can be easily created in-store with a few measurements and option selections. Ken is a big fan of this system and installed these in both kids' closets. Makes the most out of the space.  

• Bedding/Valances:  Just in case you can't get enough purple and pink butterflies.  This set is nice because all of it is there and coordinated--if you and your kid find that important.

• Big Kid Bed: There are many different ways you can go with this.  If you don't need your crib immediately and it can transform into a toddler bed, that's a nice way to go.  Also, there are toddler beds that are the intermediate step between a crib and twin bed.  Of course, you can put a twin mattress on the floor, buy the whole twin bed with box spring set or split the difference height-wise with a twin mattress and a Bunkie Board (instead of a box spring) plus a Metal Frame.  We went for the last option since the twin mattress would be something she could use until high school but the box spring put the height of the bed a little too high for her to get into and out of without death-defying feats. 

 

• Mattress Pad: All of the beds in this house have them, because you never know.

Hopefully this is helpful to fellow parents to compile all in one place.  If other seasoned parents have other helpful suggestions, please feel free to comment.   And Woohoo! to accomplishing big kid milestones.